During dinner with a close friend, I told her that I could see God answering my prayers. I found new office space; I am moving into a new apartment in the city; I am financially stable, my relationships with my friends and family are stable; I am traveling more and I have a clear plan on how to grow my business. As I was explaining to her how I have endured the storm and the sun has come out, she interrupted me by saying then why aren’t you happy? Verbally, I was saying I was happy but my tone and facial expression said the contrary. I stopped and thought about it. I wasn’t happy. Instead of breathing and enjoying the moment, I found myself holding my breath waiting for the next BUT to happen.
I prayed and asked God to move in my life. Now that it is happening, I am in disbelief. WHY??? God hears me and promises that He will always answer my call. Why am I surprised He answered??? Why am I not enjoying this moment?? In retrospect, I had become accustomed to the BUTs (disappointments, detours and speed bumps) in life. I stopped breathing!
I began living in a bubble; where I anxiously waited and expected for it to pop. My new normal was the struggle. The crazy part is if the BUT never came, I would self-sabotage and create one on my own so I could say, “I knew this was going to happen. I told you nothing works out in my favor!” Crazy right? Reflecting back, there many were times when I created my own BUT. I allowed negative thoughts, anxiety and fear to drive me. I worried about whether my business was going to crash and burn. My worrying caused me to make impulsive decisions and by the time it was all said and done, my sleep pattern was off and I was irritated. The best part of my paranoia-yep, that is what it is- I began thinking that the issues other people were experiencing were going to happen to me.
I recently heard Ron Culberson, a phenomenal speaker, discuss stress. He stated that it is not the event that causes stress; it’s the negative thoughts that are correlated to it. We create our own stress.
Over time, I have learned to give myself permission to relax, exhale and rest in the moment. I like to check myself by asking… Why am I not enjoying this moment? Am I waiting for a BUT to happen? How can I look at this situation in a positive light?
So, what if a BUT happens? Deal with it and keep it moving. The BUTs are what keeps life interesting. They are like a GPS and help ensure we stay on the right path to learning who we are and our purpose. Enjoy the times when God says “YES” because there are times when He says no, or not right now.